I could have gotten so much more done yesterday if I had known that the Ravens were going to look so horrible in their game against the Bengals. For one, I could have gotten a ton of laundry done. I have mountains building in my closet, waiting for me with open, short sleeved arms. I could have saved money, too. Because of the agonizing performance that the offense showed, I continued to drink my sorrows away, and now I have to restock on booze and beer for next week. I’m surprised I’m not bald from wanting to pull my hair out of my head everytime the Ravens looked more like they belong on NBC’s Tiny Football League halftime special on Sunday nights (On a side note, somebody needs to tell Bill Dwyer that he has a long way to go before he can remotely be compared to Kenny Mayne and all of his infinite entertaining wisdom).

Speaking of entertaining things to watch, there is next to nothing that would make me want to watch the replay of the Ravens-Bengals game on NFL Network, and I dread having to flip through that channel since there is a slight possibility that the programmers might get sick pleasure from watching two teams implode on each other. The entire game was like watching two drunk college kids duke it out, except the lack of coordination and overall ability to comprehend anything just left them stumbling around like idiots. Eventually, somebody has to be declared the winner, and in this case, the Ravens were the kid sitting face down in a pool of his own blood and vomit (nice mental image, huh?). It was a hard game to watch, and I’m glad I had sixty delicious buffalo wings to take my mind off of the disappointment. There is absolutely nothing disappointing about sixty buffalo wings.

1. Joe Flacco looked wacko.

Maybe he hasn’t been sleeping very well. Or maybe he’s been lifting weights so much that he doesn’t know his own strength. Whatever the excuse, Flacco’s accuracy makes Plaxico Burress look like a sure shot. I can’t tell you how many times he missed his receiver by several feet, leaving many (mainly me and my only two friends) wondering what the problem is. Maybe he should go back to the trap shooting range.

His accuracy wasn’t the only concerning thing, however. Flacco’s presence in the pocket seemed to be a bit… off. He was uncomfortable, and resembled himself three years ago when he first took over as QB for Baltimore. He wasn’t focused, and didn’t observe the field like a quarterback should do. In fact, for most of the passing plays called, Flacco never took his eyes off of one receiver when dropping back; Despite having open men on several occasions, his inability to see the whole field hurt him.

Trying to figure out what or who is to blame this early in the season is like trying to put together a puzzle with only half the pieces. Of course, you can speculate that there are a few reasons why Flacco has not looked good up to this point. Whether it is the revamped offense, nerves, or *cough* Jim Zorn *cough* is left to be seen. However, after a while, the first two excuses become less and less reasonable. Just ask Dan Snyder.

2. B.S. calls vs. Flacco’s four picks.

This will always be an argument when the referees make mistakes that put the outcome of the game in jeopardy. We’ve seen it way too many times in the past. Anybody remember the “Tuck Rule” incident in the 2001 divisional playoff game between New England and Oakland? Or how about the “Music City Miracle”, when the Titans may have made a forward pass on a kick return, but nothing was called? Or even more recently, the Calvin Johnson non-catch in the end zone in Week One?

The point is, teams can control their own destiny by playing a disciplined, well rounded game. History has shown that fewer mistakes lead to better opportunity for wins. Because of that, Joe Flacco’s four interceptions against Cincy on Sunday will be an easy way to blame the Ravens for losing a game that was within reach.

However, The fact is that the interceptions were called correctly- Flacco made the mistakes, but the Ravens did the work they needed to do to not let the picks come back to haunt them. As for the blown calls, there is no excuse. When it comes to the players on the field, the game is played 100% by everybody (except Albert Haynesworth). To have two mistakes made by the officials is unacceptable. In any professional game on which so much rides, not just wins and losses, but the pride of an entire city, the only barriers a team should have to overcome in order to get the victory are their opponent and their own mistakes. Unfortunately, all too often, it doesn’t happen that way.

Here is Ray Lewis’ take on the calls.

3. Every cloud has a silver lining.

Just like every game, something positive can be taken away from the loss to the Bengals. For one, it was a beautiful day for football. The end.

The Ravens’ didn’t allow themselves to get trapped by too many dumb penalties. In fact, they only had five called against them all game. On top of that, two of those five penalties were wishy-washy. Ray Lewis’ “trip” of Carson Palmer, as well as Terrell Suggs’ inability to stop mid-air to avoid tackling a QB who had not yet thrown the ball were the only penalties of value. If there is something that this team is better at than they were last year, it is keeping the little yellow flags in the pockets of the refs. As an over-reactive fan, not having to worry about having a good drive called back or a defensive stop becoming nothing more than a blown play has led to less stress in my life. No longer are the people on the floor below me pounding on their ceiling with broomsticks, yelling at me to shut up before they kick me out and make me find my own place to live.

Along with the lack of penalties came a better game by Ray Rice. While the Bengals’ defense doesn’t boast the same reputation as the Jets’ D does, the achievements of Rice allowed everybody to sigh a bit of a relief. Finally, he seemed to be back in old form, producing fantasy points all over the place. Honestly though, I don’t think he was fooling many people with his lack of yardage last Monday night. Of all the aspects of the offense that there is to worry about, from Flacco to the health of the offensive line to the butterfingers of T.J. Houshmazilly (championship!), Ray Rice gives us that reason to believe that things will be just fine. The season is two weeks old- we’ve hardly pulled out of the station on the journey to the playoffs.

The Ravens have their first home game of the season next week against Cleveland. While the Browns have seemed to improve since last year, don’t expect the game to be too close. It’s hard to see the Ravens going into that game with any other mindset then a “Let’s beat the living doo doo out of these guys”. And as a less-stressed fan who still has a place to live, I can make that prediction with confidence.

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